Touring an Adult Family Home is unlike visiting any other senior care setting. The homes are small, often warm, and the owner is usually the one giving the tour. It's easy to come away with a positive impression based on the feel of the place — but feeling good in the living room is not the same as understanding what daily life will look like.
These 12 questions help you see past the first impression.
1. Who exactly will be caring for my loved one, day to day?
Ask for names and shifts. In a 6-bed AFH, the answer should be specific: a small list of caregivers, often including the owner. If the answer is vague ("we have a team"), that's a yellow flag.
2. How long has each caregiver been here?
High turnover correlates with worse care. Most great AFHs have caregivers who have been there 3+ years.
3. What's the awake overnight ratio?
WA law requires awake staff overnight in most cases. Confirm there is — and ask if it's always one specific person or whether it rotates.
4. Can I see a sample care plan?
Each resident should have an individualized care plan. Ask to see what one looks like (with names redacted). Good homes have detailed, specific plans. Generic ones suggest cookie-cutter care.
5. How do you handle medical emergencies?
Listen for specifics: who calls 911, which hospital, how the family is notified, whether there's a written protocol. Vague answers are a red flag.
6. What does a typical day look like for residents?
Ask the owner to walk you through a normal Tuesday. The best AFHs describe a routine that feels lived-in — meals, conversation, walks, naps, family visits. Be cautious of answers that feel rehearsed or list-like.
7. Can I see the kitchen and watch a meal being prepared?
Food quality is one of the most under-discussed factors in resident happiness. Ask to see the kitchen, the menu, and meal photos if available.
8. What's included in the monthly fee, and what costs extra?
Many homes have a base rate and add-on fees. Ask for a written rate sheet that itemizes:
- Base monthly rate
- Higher care level surcharges
- Medication management fee
- Hospice transition fee
- Late move-in or move-out fee
9. Do you accept Medicaid? Under what conditions?
Even if you're paying privately now, ask. Some homes accept Medicaid only after a 1–2 year private-pay spend-down. Others accept it from day one. Some don't accept it at all. More on Medicaid and AFHs.
10. What happens if my loved one's care needs increase significantly?
Good homes can handle most progression. Some can't handle behavioral changes or 2-person transfers. Ask specifically: "If my mother develops dementia behaviors and starts wandering, can she stay here?" The honest answer is the one you want.
11. May I speak with current families?
Most owners will offer a couple of references. Even better: ask if you can visit during a normal afternoon, see residents in their normal routine, and talk to family members in the parking lot. The difference between marketed and lived-in is visible in those moments.
12. What's the move-out process?
Hopefully you never need this — but ask what triggers a move-out (typically: hospice transition, significantly elevated care needs, or behavior the home can't safely manage) and how much notice you'd get. Reputable homes give 30+ days and help with placement.
Two more questions to ask yourself
Could I picture my loved one here? Sit in the living room for 10 quiet minutes. Watch how residents are treated when nobody is "performing" for the tour.
Did the owner ask me questions about my loved one? The best owners are screening you as much as you're screening them. A home that asks detailed care-need questions is one that takes care planning seriously.
Ready to start touring? Find Adult Family Homes near you on Adult Home Finder.
Turn what you learned into a documented care decision
Before choosing a home, convert general research into a short, factual care summary. Describe what the person can do independently, where help is needed, what happens overnight, current mobility and transfer methods, medication complexity, nutrition or swallowing concerns, communication preferences, meaningful routines, and any recent changes. Include the person's own priorities whenever possible. This shared summary helps each home respond to the same information and makes comparisons more reliable.
Use a consistent review for every option. Match the name, address, operator, license number, status, and authorized capacity against the official state regulator. Ask who is present on each shift, which needs the home routinely supports, which tasks depend on outside clinicians, how families receive updates, and what changes could require more staffing or a transfer. Request the complete price estimate, service plan process, admission agreement, rate-change policy, and discharge terms in writing.
After a call or tour, separate observations from promises and unknowns. Record who answered each question and the date. An urgent opening can be helpful, but availability should not outweigh license verification, safe care fit, household compatibility, communication, or workable contract terms. Adult Home Finder supports discovery through public records; the final decision should combine regulator information, direct assessment, an in-person or live-video visit, qualified clinical input, and the judgment of the person and family involved.
